guess what,
mother,
people are packed closer here
foreign bodies stick together
under putrid heat
I can barely breathe
as the crowded tram
crawls up swanston street
and the boy
with sharp elbows
digging into me
is tethered to sanity
through lime-green earphones
that barely blocks out
6pm traffic
and all these strange heart beats
sadly,
mother,
there is more distance here
who knew
roaming the streets
can be this lonely
walking past
steel-eyed businessmen
and teenagers with costumed-skin
all I can see
are painted masks
and potential lovers
engaged in this formal dance
that you have never taught me
in this big city
the size of a small country
I have lost myself
and found no one else
cultural capital
they claim
city of indifference
I reply
This poem came to be at a time where the excitement of moving to a new city was beginning to fade & I haven’t had enough time to build happy memories to fill their place, and there was just an emptiness surrounding me, if that makes sense.
If you look back on my posts, I think you can definitely see what period of my life I’m referring to.
Thankfully I don’t feel this way anymore but I still wanted to document it as a pretty significant part of moving that I didn’t expect that maybe others can relate to too.
I can most certainly relate to it.
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I’m glad 🙂
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Your words literally describe everthing i felt when i started my college.
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yay for feeling less alone!
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It’s interesting to note that when we’re surrounded by hundreds of people we feel absolutely lonely
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right?
and to think that there’s at least a handful of people in the crowd that feel the same.
it reminds me of my favourite poem: Alone With Everybody by Charles Bukowski
“nobody ever finds the one. / the city dumps fill / the junkyards fill / the madhouses fill / the hospitals fill / the graveyards fill / nothing else / fills.”
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Surrounded by a sea of faceless strangers, none of them know my pain, none of them care about me and yet I feel completely comforted by them and hope that their loneliness will comfort mine.
Your poem inspired me to write that just now.
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That’s awesome & I genuinely love it!!
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Thank you!!
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Thank you!! I appreciate it 🙂
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I related to this in so many ways – I love Melbourne, I do not like earphones, I have lived in many new locations and know how lonely it can be. I make an effort to talk to as many people as possible each day.
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Haha that’s great 🙂
Good on you for making an effort to talk to new people, I should do that too.
The problem is I get too into my head and psyche myself out about how they have better things to do than to talk to me even though the logical part of me knows how irrational that is, at least I’m working on it!
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Just thinking about it and working on it is an achievement. When you do speak to them (at least smile at them) I hope they are delighted.
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Real good one. You are clear and eloquent.
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Aw, thank you!
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Reblogged this on femidadaadedina and commented:
Every individual in a new land will feel what you penned here. It reminded me of my feelings when i landed in Perth Western Australia in 2008. I was lonely, culture shocked and floating in a city I couldn’t master or muster. However when I was leaving Perth in 2012 I wanted to stay back because I now had families , friends and colleagues who had enhanced my life and enriched my life. So what you felt is normal and I can bet it by the time you have lived in this city you described for some years, you will not believe your perception of the city again. This in summary is what makes us HUMAN- the ability to adapt to either good or evil, comfort or discomfort, newness or staleness.
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Wow that’s awesome, thanks again for sharing your story & insight 🙂
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This blog is amazing I write poems myself and I can say your style is very unique. It would be cool if you could check out my blog as well , I needed help getting it up and running and was hoping you could help. Anyways your amazing -Tymra
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Aw thank you, would love to check out your blog 🙂
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No problem and thank you !!!
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I totally understand, starting Uni last year this feeling was all too real. Very well written! Please check out my blog as well x
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Hahaha, glad that it’s relatable & sure thing ^^
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I was just talking to someone about how our poems can be our journals. Maybe much more descriptive and powerful then simply writing about our day.
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I love it that people are still writing poetry 🙂
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I have a feeling that the medium will only go extinct once we do too! 🙂
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i can totally relate…good material. Visit my blog and see if Kenya might be you next destination on your travels. 🙂
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This is really beautifully written
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thank you ❤
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