rubber band dreams

Collaboration with: Hahanoui

I wonder if there is anyone
that will ever understand me
as I try to stretch my
rubber band dreams
to a land
beyond the valleys of my
rocky self esteem
but idealistic thoughts
mixed with anxiety
are like boulders
too heavy to launch
against the gravity
of rejection

and this cold and heavy heart
can no longer see
the beauty of shooting stars,
no more than ordinary space rocks
that fall from the weight
of all the world’s wishes
they were never built to fulfil.
though who am I
to criticise
and still want to send
my feeble parodies
into the sky?

at least for tonight,
I shall drink moonlight,
ignore the quiver in my fingers
and hypocrisy that clouds my mind,
pull my cheap rubber hopes taunt
against the crescent shadow
even though
I’ve been warned that
aiming too high
could leave me covered
in welts and bruises
that burn stronger than
the harsh sunrise

but all I wanted
was to be happy
ever so close
but always just out of reach
so surely –
stretching a little more –
couldn’t possibly –
might I finally be –

Hi guys, I’m so excited to share this poem that I’ve been sitting on for a little while now because I’ve had the honour of collaborating with an amazing artist, Allanah (Hahanoui) who has created the amazing surreal artwork specifically for this poem that you see at the top.

I love it so much because it incapsulates the essence of the poem in a way that no other image can & adds so much to it at the same time. Please go check out her work, she’s so talented and humble too!

(p.s. this poem is inspired by a quote from another poet’s work that I saw on reddit, unfortunately I can’t credit them as I can no longer find the source, I think they have deleted their work)

12 thoughts on “rubber band dreams

  1. I love this poem. It reminds me of my partner. He has fought against the slings and arrows of his past, trying to find the best way to accomplish his dreams without feeling alone. I think that I am the SNAP preventative and the one who pushes him to keep expanding his rubber band; while I expand mine along with him. Thank so much for writing this.


  2. Wonderful poem (as always), reading your work always inspires me to do a reversal of the infamous The Office quote: “I hate so much the way that you are” (have no idea if you watch the show for this reference to land, but eh, I’m keeping it in anyway ‘cos I adore that show and I adore your work). I feel like you have perfectly captured my daily struggle with self-esteem and the eternal quest for happiness, and reaching the end of your poem really did feel like a punch to the gut! But I value honesty more than anything, and this IS exactly how it feels, like you’re constantly on the precipice of “something” — your words really did read as a reflection of my own personal trials.
    Also the artwork is FANTASTIC!


    1. Thanks love ❤️❤️❤️ it’s always so good when other people can relate, makes both of us less alone hahah.

      & yes the artist is so good at what she does, I’ll say thanks on her behalf!


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