friday night – out

IMG_2423.JPG
excuse the mess (referring to both my room & me) – genuine photo I sent to a friend to show her what I was wearing prior to the event that inspired the poem below (09/16)

9pm – 3am
(day off)

my white jeans
are stained with sticky memories
and I wish they were covered
with the drinks
I shouldn’t have drowned in
instead.

It’s funny how you tell people
you regret friday night
and they wink and say
“bet you had fun though!”

As if clinging onto people
instead of my toppling pride
would be in the highlight reel
of my life.

As if wanting to vomit up excuses why
I’m acting like a scared little girl
and not being heard or seen
doesn’t make me want to cry.

As if becoming a fumbling stumbling mess
was what I was looking forwards to
all this time.

at least I learnt that
losing control
when you feel out of control
is like jumping off a bridge
just because you’re sick
of the way gravity
makes the air feel so heavy
on your shoulders
(it’s stupid)

and even though
alcohol makes you
feel like you can fly
away from both the whispers
and indifference
the shots will always hit you
and here comes the fall
everybody/nobody
was waiting for

remember
when you said you wouldn’t
do this ever again?

[work/out]

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21 thoughts on “friday night – out

  1. I like how yo describe a tipical night out on Friday night if that is what you do on your Friday nights. For me I could find more enjoyable things to do with my life than what you describe a person doing on a Friday night out and still have fun. It is good poem very well written I have to say that. I really relate to what your saying because it’s true most people go out like this on a Friday night on Saturday morning wake up wonder what they did night before and is this all over my clothes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha I wouldn’t say this is my typical friday night but it might appear so from reading my blog – quiet nights snuggled into bed at home by myself watching netflix strangely doesn’t inspire any poetry 😛

      thanks for the feedback ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s a sort of a socially coerced loop isn’t it. You say never then the next Friday the atmosphere if felt by your friends, they make you more attuned to it and in the end you all succumb, pleasurably, no space to think about it.

    Like

  3. I particularly enjoyed this part:
    “at least I learnt that
    losing control
    when you feel out of control
    is like jumping off a bridge
    just because you’re sick
    of the way gravity
    makes the air feel so heavy
    on your shoulders”
    It is so true that people do the opposite of what would make sense, like losing control when they already feel out of control. Quite lovely when paired with the imagery and analogy of giving gravity more space to do it’s work, pull you down. Fantastic work.

    Liked by 1 person

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