on letting go & alice in wonderland

I have a confession to make.

Disclaimer: If you know me even moderately well in real life, this won’t be news to you but

I can become slightly very unhealthily obsessed with other people.

Just a few minutes ago, I caught myself a few months deep into an old friend’s Instagram account that I’d just discovered. When I tried to pull myself out of the #valencia rabbit hole, more than a few familiar faces flashed past as my phone painstakingly recreated the tenuous links I followed to find my ‘Alice’, seemingly in an effort to remind me of a fact that I’m well aware of: I’m a little bit mad.

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(C) Maggy Liu

Instead of focusing on how intrinsically creepy my behaviour is, I’ve decided that I’m more bothered by how much ‘Alice’ & I’s paths have diverged and all I know about an ex-friend are some pixels on the screen.

Should I be happy that we live in such a narcissistic and technologically advanced society that I’m able to access her life in this way? If it was back in my parents’ time, I would have nothing but fond memories and a colourful imagination but somehow, this feels sadder. Witnessing what feels like intimate moments of someone’s life whilst being fully aware that they’re broadcasted to an audience including strangers makes the experience decidedly less special. This takes an even more sombre turn when you can’t even recall when you’ve become one of the outsiders too. Continue reading “on letting go & alice in wonderland”

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A Recipe for Disaster

If you’re searching for a shortcut to satisfaction, then look no further! Sample our state­-approved recipe for success. 

This is something for the whole family to enjoy; a simple recipe that will stick to the social order and suit everyone’s tastes.

You will need:

●  3 cups self­ raising insecurities
●  2 cups sugar to coat the uncomfortable truths
●  1 tsp of confidence, sifted
●  A 5”­10” inch cake tin,  depending on small ­man syndrome, if applicable
and you can never go wrong with a sprinkle of maniac dream pixie girl fairy dust!

Step 1: Add a pinch of handholding and a peck on the cheek. This should create a sticky syrup layer to catch any unfortunate sexual deviances which could spoil the consistency of the cake.

Step 2: Dissolve in a cup of unrealistic expectations, skim but full­-bodied, injected with sharp sweet lollipop. (Now now, not in front of the children)

Step 3: BANG NAIL AND SCREW the batter into submission, making sure the consistency is thin and smooth, we’ll have no lumps or bumps thank you.

Step 4: Cook until mixture becomes unrecognisable. A gentle rising of male ego and erection to be expected but not explicitly viewed. Keep in mind that opening the oven at this point will result in a loss of self respect and crumbling of social standing.

Step 5: Add pressure lightly to surface of cake to check progress, noting that too much force could cause irreparable damage. When you have collapsed the exterior, you must think of the cake as ruined because insides are irrelevant, presentation and purity are to be prioritised. When the cake has reached appropriate height and maturity, prepare to remove from oven.

Step 6: Allow time to set and cool. The social mould will hold conforming thoughts together until you do.

tick tock, tick tock, ding!

Happy Birthday! If you followed our recipe correctly, today is the day you get to enjoy artificial acceptance presented on a silver platter as if it was worth something. 

Go on, make a wish.

I want to be pretty.

That’s easy!
You are what you eat
so stuff yourself with what they want you to be
swallow your pride
swallow before you taste despair
swallow until even your body hates you
then regurgitate the lessons you have been spoon fed
since you were a little girl
and smear it over your face like salvation
cake over every piece of you that made you unique
because the world likes vanilla
trust me, they don’t care what’s inside
hand them the knife
let them have a bite
(and don’t forget to smile)

Congratulations, you have completed your first individuality-­repressing recipe. Check next week’s issue for how to lose your love handles and great new ways to pleasure your man.

Written by: Emma, Maggy & Natalie

(Left to Right) Natalie, Maggy & Emma - performing our slam poetry piece
(Left to Right) Natalie, Maggy & Emma – performing our slam poetry piece 03/10/15

FEMINISM

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Feminism piece-3

I submitted this article a long long time ago so it was a nice little surprise when the edited & published version above was emailed to me.

My opinions on specifics have shifted slightly (but I’m 100% behind the main idea) and I probably would have used different examples and structuring looking back but I thought I will share it with you guys regardless because I am very proud that it exists.

I’m actually glad that I see so many imperfections with it, hopefully that means I’ve grown as a person and writer. On a side note, I’m so happy with how pretty it looks!

Judge and Conclude

An offhand comment triggered my desire to just post a quick rant so here you have it, unstructured, unedited and unfiltered.

The story is, someone that I hardly knew called me ‘sheltered’ and I found that incredibly insulting not only because I don’t think it’s true to the degree they believe it, but also because I think it’s so pretentious for anyone to pass hasty judgements on someone else.

When I first heard that someone saw me that way, I couldn’t stop laughing because I didn’t have a logical response to said comment. I know that we’re all human and we inevitably all judge each other but I have always been convinced that the only thing you can be certain of is your own subjective view on the external world. Therefore, your opinion is your opinion, no more and no less and that’s the standard I have been holding myself and others to.

I concede that we are all a part of the world therefore we are influenced and shaped by events out of our control but ultimately they’re coloured by our ethics, upbringing, relationships etc. and that’s something you can’t ever tell from looking at someone and for someone to have the audacity to not only judge but conclude about me, in such confident terms, elevating their opinion to ‘truth’ is astounding.

Although I will admit I am almost obsessively interested in how other people view me in order to adjust how I want to be portrayed accordingly, it has always been on my own terms. As an interesting and helpful exercise in order for me to do the best I can in life, I have never had issue with people’s judgements but their conclusions. Continue reading “Judge and Conclude”

Heart to Heart

I have always found comfort in the fact that my world is subjective, that it’s my perceived reality.

It has helped me time and time again to recognise my purpose in life and form a value system I can stand by.

In general terms, I would consider myself strongly anti-deterministic and extremely liberal. In other words, I am a strong proponent that everyone chooses their own fate and are allowed to hold their own world views as long as they do not infringe on anyone else’s right to do the same.

That, I have convinced myself over the past few years, is the best way to make everyone happy. I hate to say this, but sometimes, just sometimes, I really wish it wasn’t.

Continue reading “Heart to Heart”

I Am Selfish

and I don’t care if you don’t like it.

Valentines day is a capitalist-oriented event designed for obligatory displays of love between couples and the celebration (or condemnation) of being alone.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a hopeless romantic – I love love and I was originally going to tell a cute love story after valentines day but it has been bugging me lately that loving yourself isn’t celebrated in the same way as loving another.


It’s always such a scary experience to be told what our perceived ‘flaws’ are. An off-hand remark based on hasty judgements could easily be over-analysed when it concerned our personal character. I have been told a couple of times that I am a slightly selfish person. I remember being very troubled at first that other people thought I had such a huge personality flaw and I became very obsessed with acting ‘selflessly’.

It made me very unhappy.

My motives weren’t in the right place and I came to the conclusion that selfless simply wasn’t for me. If they wanted to label me selfish because my priorities are different from theirs, then fine.

Continue reading “I Am Selfish”

I am not a ‘good girl’

I just stumbled across this social experiment comparing guys’ & girls’ reaction to their date looking chubbier (by a lot) in real life than they did in photos they posted online.

The video’s intention was implicit: to reveal sexism that exists in society!!!11! look at how women are more valued for their physical appearance than men, those shallow monsters, girls are less shallow blah blah blah.

They tried to back this up through showing all but one of male subjects leaving the ‘fat’ girl at the cafe whereas the female subjects stayed and completed the date with the ‘fat’ guy. However, I wasn’t sold and it looks like many commenters weren’t either.

“Females are very good at faking.”

“So these guys are supposed to be assholes for reacting badly to being deceived?”

Lets focus on something more interesting, a more subtle kind of sexism. Let’s consider why most of the guys (potentially even the one that stayed) felt comfortable leaving whereas all the girls stayed – now that’s something interesting to look at. Continue reading “I am not a ‘good girl’”

infinite monkey theorem

What is the infinite monkey theorem?

It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite number of times will almost surely be able to type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

Taking an extremely literal interpretation (which it is not intended for), the concept is rather sobering for anyone who considers themselves a writer – anything you think of can be created out of random chance

In light of this, I am left to question: why do I write?

Continue reading “infinite monkey theorem”

♔ princess ♔

As I come to terms with my ‘personality,’ I would label myself as someone rather emotional.

I wouldn’t say I epitomise the stereotypical kind of emotional where I’m super sensitive, overthinks and cries at the drop of a hat. Admittedly though, to some extent, I am guilty of all of the above to varying degrees. In other words, I am a total princess.

I agree when other people tell me that being an only child has contributed to my character. I have never questioned how my parents offer the world on a platter for me to pick and choose as I please. I had been confident that I was a good person nonetheless. My logic was that everybody has their flaws and in the grand scheme of things, mine weren’t even that bad! However, being in a relationship has made me reconsider. Continue reading “♔ princess ♔”

Dear Body

Dear Body,

How are you?

I’m not too great myself, thanks for asking.

Ever since we were forced to be together (forever) about 17 years ago we’ve never quite come to terms with that, have we?

As much as I hate you sometimes, if I ever fully abandoned you, it will simply result in our time coming to an end sooner than I am ready for.

I have dreams to reach, places to go and by god if you’re the reason we can’t then-

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In my childhood we didn’t fight much.

That is, up until I was 8 years old and my family took a vacation to Australia.

For some reason, my appetite just grew and initially my mother fed me accordingly, expecting me to shoot up vertically. Instead, you expanded like a beach ball, like the ones the other kids would throw around on Bondi Beach as we begged mum to let us eat that third ice-cream.

She said no, because we’re fat. Continue reading “Dear Body”