莲花 heart

In 2017, hip-hop took over China, in a large part due to a popular internet-based reality talent show called 中国有嘻哈 (Rap of China).

I was really late to hop on the bandwagon. So late in fact that by the point I binge watched the entire show earlier this year, rap has essentially been soft-banned in China.

Nevertheless, I was inspired to try write something myself, with the idea of mixing Chinese & English being something I was particularly interested in doing.

As some of the contestants said in the show, the most important part of rap is to “keep it real” and tell your own truth so that’s what I tried to do. If I couldn’t incorporate any complex rhyme patterns or have sophisticated flow changes, at least I could take a snapshot at my life in 2018.

I feel like this attempt is very juvenile and rushed but it was from the heart and so much fun so I wanted to share it anyway!

Now to be clear, it’s pretty evident, even if you don’t understand what I’m saying, that my musical background isn’t the strongest and I tried to force my lyrics into a backing track that wasn’t tailored for it (& therefore about 1/3 of the through I’m painfully offbeat) so that’s my bad, I didn’t have time to make it better/was too eager to put something out even if it’s really rough.

That’s my longwinded pre-amble, I hope you can find something in here that speaks to you.


Original lyrics & translated version (English) below:

You know, I used to be so scared of dying.
It was the rounding of a circle, the fade to black, permanent non-existence if you will.

Nowadays, death seems less daunting, more like a spoiler alert, you know? At first I thought it meant I grew up but maybe that’s not it. I used to want to leave a legacy, now I just want to stop feeling so… numb.

Continue reading “莲花 heart”

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yesterday I made a zine

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turmoil.
(n.) a state of great disturbance, confusion, or uncertainty.

Cover: Turmoil – of & by maggy

Page 1: “When the sun comes out – but the clouds / stick to stray lashes / and all she sees is rain.”

Page 2: “There’s a wrenching pull / back of my head, / slur and babble / asks if anyone noticed / no. yes, / if not, why not.”

Page 3: “No occupation: all men idle, all, / And women too, but innocent and pure.”


So this was a 3am project & more about remixing other people’s art than creating my own but it was really rewarding all the same.

After all, it is so important to take some time to recharge by finding inspiration in the beautiful things that already exist.

Continue reading “yesterday I made a zine”

Entertainer Blogger Award (& thank you for 1k)

Hi everyone,

Sorry it has been so long, but I am back! In all honesty, I have been completely caught up in a whirlwind of university exams for the past month which has left me a hollow shell of a person, sans creative energy.

However, I am well into my summer holidays now and I am slowly getting back on my feet & will definitely be posting more regularly.

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not physically on my feet but filled w/ creative energy (borrowed from banksy) yes

Something exciting that has happened in my absence is that I managed to hit 1k followers which is absolutely incredible, thank you. This is the first numbers based milestone that I am celebrating and I am sending so much love to every single one of you who decided that my voice is something you want to listen to in this crazy world filled with too much noise.

To celebrate, I thought I would do something different and finally pass along the Entertainer Blogger Award which Alyssa nominated me for quite some time ago, sorry it has taken me so long to respond! 

Firstly, a little bit about Alyssa. For anyone who doesn’t follow her, I will say hand over heart that she is one of my favourite bloggers ever and you’re missing out. She has consistently entertained me with the letters she writes to her daughter, Lily June, in these universally applicable life lessons filled with tidbits of wisdom told with generous helpings of humour, self awareness and tied together with absolutely beautiful descriptions. Go check out her blog, I’ll wait here. 

Continue reading “Entertainer Blogger Award (& thank you for 1k)”

the all or nothing type

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to the boy I met when I was 17

baby,
will you still love me
when this facade of youth
fades as we age
and the wrinkles of time
kiss these round cheeks of mine
like you have done
a million times over?
what about when
moonlight tumbles
into my midnight hair
and the memories we shared
slowly disappear
will you stay right here
and hold me close
as we watch
our last sunset?

Continue reading “the all or nothing type”

INTRODUCTION 2.0

hello, I’m maggy.

I thought it was about time I published a brief introduction to myself and my currently ‘nameless’ blog for two reasons:

1. I changed my URL (previously matrixunfulfilled) a little while ago without ever addressing it – now I will.

2. I have registered for the blogging 101 course and this is the very first assignment!

Since my articles are usually fuelled by intense emotions, I am envisioning this will be a bit of a challenge. To give you an indication of how bad I am at task-based writing:

Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 2.17.03 pm

Every single article that has ‘draft’ next to its name was started with inklings of what, at the time, felt like a great idea. They will probably never be finished, simply because I felt too calm writing on those issues. Admittedly, I have developed a dysfunctional relationship with words (but isn’t that what journalling is all about?)

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ERROR: Matrix

What does the URL even mean?

It could easily be written off as a 17 year old girl trying to be a little bit ‘edgy’ and ‘cool’ with the title of her new blog. I’m not going to lie, I spent a lot longer obsessing over my URL than any sane person ever should have.

I can say without (too much) shame that I have hosted various blogs in the past. Unfortunately, due to my capricious nature, the end result has always been me losing motivation as my passions drifted onto some new, exciting adventure. The fact that the popularity of my content was not directly proportional to the time that has passed was a large contributor to my decline of interest.

This time, I’m hoping it will be a little bit different.

Here’s why.

I am putting no pressure on myself to influence the popularity of this blog hence it will exist in a state of <matrix unfulfilled>

matrix: the cultural, social, or political environment in which something develops

I will let my blog find its footing (or not) largely on its own. I won’t go out of my way to promote, post on a strict schedule or in a format that is deemed easily digestible for the ‘internet generation’ just for the sake of gaining audience.

That makes blogging less fun! Instead, this can be my little corner of the internet that people can visit if they wish.

If you stumbled onto here, hello, do look around.

Lets see how well that goes!