CLICK [键盘的沉默]

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CLICK

maybe in five years time
I’ll suddenly cross your mind
and you’ll wonder
what that starry-eyed girl
(who was so desperately in love with you)
is up to now

your finger will hover over the green dot
next to my name…

click.
you didn’t know that I cut my hair

click.
or that I left the suburb next to the sea

click.
to make a life in the city that never sleeps

your finger will hover over the green dot
next to my name…

but you do not
click.

Continue reading “CLICK [键盘的沉默]”

on homesickness & the little mermaid

After moving to a new country for university, I fell sick.

I wonder if it’s because my body is stuck in limbo between newfound unpredictability and missing old routines and that’s why at night these maladjusted bones creak for home…

Loneliness.

It almost feels taboo to say out loud.

Even more so if I add another layer of association:

I am lonely.

Homesickness is insidious. It hides in the shadows before it suddenly swallows you whole, leaving just an empty shell of who you are behind. I noticed its presence as I was pretending to laugh the other day, suddenly continuing the facade of being happy all the time felt so tiring. Continue reading “on homesickness & the little mermaid”

Heart to Heart

I have always found comfort in the fact that my world is subjective, that it’s my perceived reality.

It has helped me time and time again to recognise my purpose in life and form a value system I can stand by.

In general terms, I would consider myself strongly anti-deterministic and extremely liberal. In other words, I am a strong proponent that everyone chooses their own fate and are allowed to hold their own world views as long as they do not infringe on anyone else’s right to do the same.

That, I have convinced myself over the past few years, is the best way to make everyone happy. I hate to say this, but sometimes, just sometimes, I really wish it wasn’t.

Continue reading “Heart to Heart”