Tiny Letters I Will Never Send: Part Three

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Part 3: musings & reflections on this/us

To readers of this blog (and other poets, artists or storytellers of any shape & form),

Do you ever find yourself gravitating towards trite and uninspiring metaphors to retell the same old stories?

Because I do and it’s been bothering me a lot lately.

A quick scroll down my page & you’ll see my obsession with comparing unrequited love, broken friendships and my overthinking mind to oceans, storms and dark starless nights.

On one hand, I know that it’s so important to always tell your own truth and this constant struggle with body image, establishing boundaries and vocalising my feelings to other people has been mine since I was a little girl. That being said, at times, there’s just this nagging voice at the back of my head that this is an excuse for me to be my own worst enabler.

Instead of focusing on living in the present and fulfilling my responsibilities in the real world, I am finding myself losing hours of the day wallowing in self pity (but as soon as I think that, another voice pipes up in my head telling me that I’m being too harsh and sabotaging my opportunities to feel vulnerability).

I feel like the root of the problem is that I haven’t been able to find balance. At one extreme, it feels like I’m picking apart the stitches that hold me together every few days just to see what words will spill out from from the seams and at the other, I am always swallowing words at the tip of my tongue, smiling, and letting strangers trample over my comfort zone because it’s a shortcut to their happiness, you know?

Continue reading “Tiny Letters I Will Never Send: Part Three”

A Recipe for Disaster

If you’re searching for a shortcut to satisfaction, then look no further! Sample our state­-approved recipe for success. 

This is something for the whole family to enjoy; a simple recipe that will stick to the social order and suit everyone’s tastes.

You will need:

●  3 cups self­ raising insecurities
●  2 cups sugar to coat the uncomfortable truths
●  1 tsp of confidence, sifted
●  A 5”­10” inch cake tin,  depending on small ­man syndrome, if applicable
and you can never go wrong with a sprinkle of maniac dream pixie girl fairy dust!

Step 1: Add a pinch of handholding and a peck on the cheek. This should create a sticky syrup layer to catch any unfortunate sexual deviances which could spoil the consistency of the cake.

Step 2: Dissolve in a cup of unrealistic expectations, skim but full­-bodied, injected with sharp sweet lollipop. (Now now, not in front of the children)

Step 3: BANG NAIL AND SCREW the batter into submission, making sure the consistency is thin and smooth, we’ll have no lumps or bumps thank you.

Step 4: Cook until mixture becomes unrecognisable. A gentle rising of male ego and erection to be expected but not explicitly viewed. Keep in mind that opening the oven at this point will result in a loss of self respect and crumbling of social standing.

Step 5: Add pressure lightly to surface of cake to check progress, noting that too much force could cause irreparable damage. When you have collapsed the exterior, you must think of the cake as ruined because insides are irrelevant, presentation and purity are to be prioritised. When the cake has reached appropriate height and maturity, prepare to remove from oven.

Step 6: Allow time to set and cool. The social mould will hold conforming thoughts together until you do.

tick tock, tick tock, ding!

Happy Birthday! If you followed our recipe correctly, today is the day you get to enjoy artificial acceptance presented on a silver platter as if it was worth something. 

Go on, make a wish.

I want to be pretty.

That’s easy!
You are what you eat
so stuff yourself with what they want you to be
swallow your pride
swallow before you taste despair
swallow until even your body hates you
then regurgitate the lessons you have been spoon fed
since you were a little girl
and smear it over your face like salvation
cake over every piece of you that made you unique
because the world likes vanilla
trust me, they don’t care what’s inside
hand them the knife
let them have a bite
(and don’t forget to smile)

Congratulations, you have completed your first individuality-­repressing recipe. Check next week’s issue for how to lose your love handles and great new ways to pleasure your man.

Written by: Emma, Maggy & Natalie

(Left to Right) Natalie, Maggy & Emma - performing our slam poetry piece
(Left to Right) Natalie, Maggy & Emma – performing our slam poetry piece 03/10/15

Judge and Conclude

An offhand comment triggered my desire to just post a quick rant so here you have it, unstructured, unedited and unfiltered.

The story is, someone that I hardly knew called me ‘sheltered’ and I found that incredibly insulting not only because I don’t think it’s true to the degree they believe it, but also because I think it’s so pretentious for anyone to pass hasty judgements on someone else.

When I first heard that someone saw me that way, I couldn’t stop laughing because I didn’t have a logical response to said comment. I know that we’re all human and we inevitably all judge each other but I have always been convinced that the only thing you can be certain of is your own subjective view on the external world. Therefore, your opinion is your opinion, no more and no less and that’s the standard I have been holding myself and others to.

I concede that we are all a part of the world therefore we are influenced and shaped by events out of our control but ultimately they’re coloured by our ethics, upbringing, relationships etc. and that’s something you can’t ever tell from looking at someone and for someone to have the audacity to not only judge but conclude about me, in such confident terms, elevating their opinion to ‘truth’ is astounding.

Although I will admit I am almost obsessively interested in how other people view me in order to adjust how I want to be portrayed accordingly, it has always been on my own terms. As an interesting and helpful exercise in order for me to do the best I can in life, I have never had issue with people’s judgements but their conclusions. Continue reading “Judge and Conclude”

I Am Selfish

and I don’t care if you don’t like it.

Valentines day is a capitalist-oriented event designed for obligatory displays of love between couples and the celebration (or condemnation) of being alone.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a hopeless romantic – I love love and I was originally going to tell a cute love story after valentines day but it has been bugging me lately that loving yourself isn’t celebrated in the same way as loving another.


It’s always such a scary experience to be told what our perceived ‘flaws’ are. An off-hand remark based on hasty judgements could easily be over-analysed when it concerned our personal character. I have been told a couple of times that I am a slightly selfish person. I remember being very troubled at first that other people thought I had such a huge personality flaw and I became very obsessed with acting ‘selflessly’.

It made me very unhappy.

My motives weren’t in the right place and I came to the conclusion that selfless simply wasn’t for me. If they wanted to label me selfish because my priorities are different from theirs, then fine.

Continue reading “I Am Selfish”

I am not a ‘good girl’

I just stumbled across this social experiment comparing guys’ & girls’ reaction to their date looking chubbier (by a lot) in real life than they did in photos they posted online.

The video’s intention was implicit: to reveal sexism that exists in society!!!11! look at how women are more valued for their physical appearance than men, those shallow monsters, girls are less shallow blah blah blah.

They tried to back this up through showing all but one of male subjects leaving the ‘fat’ girl at the cafe whereas the female subjects stayed and completed the date with the ‘fat’ guy. However, I wasn’t sold and it looks like many commenters weren’t either.

“Females are very good at faking.”

“So these guys are supposed to be assholes for reacting badly to being deceived?”

Lets focus on something more interesting, a more subtle kind of sexism. Let’s consider why most of the guys (potentially even the one that stayed) felt comfortable leaving whereas all the girls stayed – now that’s something interesting to look at. Continue reading “I am not a ‘good girl’”

freedom to have sex

A disadvantage of being slightly more open with friends and family about the existence of my blog is feeling like I must censor myself on contentious issues.

Bearing that in mind, I have decided to say a massive f&#k you to consequences and discuss my thoughts on the sex industry.

I have grown up in a relatively sex positive environment and consider myself a liberal at heart. That is why I am a strong proponent of you do what you want, and I do what I want and we will mutually respect each other because we’re decent human beings.

Whether you choose to experience sex before marriage or abstain because you do not feel ready, only do it with one person or do it with a dozen, if it’s something private and exclusive or if you sell it as a commodity, it’s ultimately your choice and nobody else should give a fuck about said choice, unless you want them to… 😉

Continue reading “freedom to have sex”