This poem is inspired by Call Me By Your Name & was written with Visions of Gideon playing in the background.
If Heaven is built on white lies,
then let me believe for the last time
that your breath can run into mine,
giddy with love; you and me, likewise.
But why is it that every time our lips
collide, I can’t taste anything beyond
the quiet? Tell me, when will the thought
of you stop clouding these closed eyes?
Don’t forget the rain and wistful smiles.
Hey love, am I still allowed to call you
so? I suppose names were never our own,
gifted to us by others, so our entirety can
be condensed into palpable syllables,
rolled over the tongue, bitten into and
chewed on until the flavour fades
or tastes suddenly change.
I truly thought I was okay until time
reminded me of its unpredictable path
from now until tomorrow, here I am again.
Silence stretches out as long as a
sleepless night, and I am unlearning desire,
like feeling itself is a bad habit, brea
king words until they lose all meaning,
writing about you until I forget the way
I used to whisper – your name.
we are all flesh and no soul built weak dreaming of going to sea so the waves may wash away the minutiae not so we can ‘find ourselves’ but to just be ourselves won’t you join me, before the beckoning of the earth takes hold?
you see, the ocean is no place to venture alone I’ll need you to be there to steer, paddle or shout – “Land Ahoy!” as you run about distracting us from the starless nights when we can’t help but wonder if the moon pulls the tides of fate or if we’ll have to find our own way in this cold and empty place
unfortunately, even those at sea fear inevitability that, my love, includes you and me one day the monsters will drag us to the murky depths of abyss but right now our fragile bones are overcome by the silent song of the salt-stained breeze they move because they know the music of life and you are enough of an excuse for another night on this rickety boat even though we’re scared? we’re here
it was 491 days later before something shifted in the atmosphere rolling eyes and loud sighs displaced indestructible sea floors sharp tongues like whips cut masts of pride torrents of heavy words sunk ships and a tsunami of sky-high idealisations couldn’t hide the realisation that it hurts to love with a washed up heart darling, it was your voice, not the endless, breathless siren’s song that reminded me both the ocean and tears were not as beautiful as I imagined I suppose adventures don’t make for smooth sailing but look, the sun is rising and if you still dare to brave the scorching days and relentless rain
won’t you please
kiss my bruises away and hold me when phantom pain haunts the moon-lit night?
the waves are calling,
let’s not keep the ocean waiting.
I fell in love
first and foremost with an enigma
despite the turbulence of emotions
I have felt since you’ve entered my world
I still regard you as a series of question marks
except I no longer want to figure it out
I don’t remember a time
when you weren’t floating high above me
initially I admired the height of your ambitions
not realising your elevated pride and sense of
s u p e r i o r i t y
would never allow us to see eye-to-eye
I wondered if you had ever spared me a glance
and if you did could you tell me apart (?)
did you want to tell me apart (?)
from the others who stood beside me
with their faces turned up to the sky
hoping you’d notice us even for a second
you must have zapped them
with the same flashy lights and mixed signals
that I once thought you built for me Continue reading “To Alien”→
As I come to terms with my ‘personality,’ I can label myself as someone rather emotional.
I wouldn’t say I epitomise the stereotypical kind of emotional where I’m super sensitive, overthinks and cries at the drop of a hat. Admittedly though, to some extent, I am guilty of all of the above to varying degrees. In other words, I am a princess.
(p.s. princess in this instance is a non gender-specific term)
I agree when other people tell me that being an only child has contributed to my character. I have never questioned how my parents offer the world on a platter for me to pick and choose as I please. I had been confident that I was a good person nonetheless. My logic was that everybody has their flaws and in the grand scheme of things, mine weren’t even that bad! However, being in a relationship has made me reconsider. Continue reading “♔ princess ♔”→