The girl with the biggest smile:

puzzle-140904_1280.jpg

she drinks 3 cups of herbicide every night,
to cure the moonlight that pools under her eyes.

 but behind the irises, the onion weeds lie,
and surrounding her heart, the wireweeds thrive.

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Melodramatic Caprice

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Today,
I’ve forgotten how to be happy.
Unfortunately,
contorting a strained smile
to set others at ease
doesn’t work when you’re confronted by a mirror –

that girl, she hurts more than it’s worth.

but what’s even worse,
is that I can’t even turn this pain
into a beautiful verse
about overcoming difficulties
and learning profound life lessons
because none of that ever happened.

I guess I just don’t know
what’s left to say
when all I feel is
numb.

10994

Octopus
Image courtesy of: Dark-Indigo

The Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench is the deepest known point in Earth’s oceans – 10,994 meters below sea level with an estimated vertical accuracy of ± 40 meters.


I want to be a maelstrom
because it’s difficult
to turn away from a disaster.
Look me in the eye
as I drag you to the murky depths
of somewhere in between
drowning and being free,
tainted flesh and salt water wounds
are easier to touch in the dark,
breathe me in,
before the sunlight slips out of reach.

Can we only find love on the sea floor
because that’s where shadows of desperation
overwhelms sanity?
Watch the rubies spill,
as rock bleeds into rock,
proving that I am broken,
just so you would want me.

As the octopus
wraps itself around my sea-foam heart,
it whispers its melancholy warning –
I am twisted, little one, run away or surrender
and I know I shouldn’t be happy
to give up my autonomy but
in that moment,
I could almost see anglerfish
dancing at the end of the tunnel
in the wake of my supposed destiny.
Neptune,
he did not save me.

Undoubtedly,
humanity
thrives in
maladjustments and oddities
because we are the abandoned children
of the deep sea.

That’s why we soak up pain
and wish upon 
washed up starfish
that we can avoid the same inevitability
and for our agony –
to be special.

Heart to Heart

I have always found comfort in the fact that my world is subjective, that it’s my perceived reality.

It has helped me time and time again to recognise my purpose in life and form a value system I can stand by.

In general terms, I would consider myself strongly anti-deterministic and extremely liberal. In other words, I am a strong proponent that everyone chooses their own fate and are allowed to hold their own world views as long as they do not infringe on anyone else’s right to do the same.

That, I have convinced myself over the past few years, is the best way to make everyone happy. I hate to say this, but sometimes, just sometimes, I really wish it wasn’t.

Continue reading “Heart to Heart”