Eclipsed 心

IMG_6159
Photography: mxqqy (self)

I learnt my first 儿歌 over a
long-distance phone call as 妈妈
sat under the southern cross,
halfway around the world.

she sang about 一闪一闪的
小星星and I wonder if she
ever wished upon these flickering
lights to 再次 share the same sky
with the mother and daughter
she was forced to leave behind.

almost two decades later,
three generations 团聚在,
the same roof 下, but my
memories of 金色的 stars
cast across 陌生的 sunset
have become hazy, even
in slumber, my anglicised tongue
has become better at tying
knots into cherry stems than
imitating my grandmother’s songs.

though our worlds have finally
spun into alignment, our eclipsed
hearts leave us fumbling, strangers,
lost, in the dark.

Translation:

Eclipsed Heart

I learnt my first nursery rhyme over a long-distance phone call as mother sat under the southern cross, halfway around the world. She sang to me twinkle twinkle little star and I wonder if she ever wished upon these flickering lights to share the same sky once again with the mother and daughter she was forced to leave behind.

Almost two decades later, three generations sit together under the same roof, but my
memories of golden stars cast across an unfamiliar sunset have become hazy, even in slumber, my anglicised tongue has become better at tying knots into cherry stems than imitating my grandmother’s songs.

Though our worlds have finally spun into alignment, our eclipsed hearts leave us fumbling like strangers, lost, in the dark.

 

stars, space & an empty place

paint_the_sky_with_stars_by_borda-d2hejtl.jpg
image courtesy of: borda

she remembers that night,
no stars dusted the evening sky
but their residual light
flickered in his wandering eyes
and how she desperately wanted to hold –
his gaze, hand or mind
for them to share a hazy moment
in suspended time

too bad
he was on the other side
of an unfamiliar room
filled with mutual strangers
maybe with enough imagination
they could have been
the newest constellation

already tenuously connected by
some star-struck fate,
but too scared or sober
to name this new feeling or shape
much less ask if he
maybe thought the same

it’s funny how
she has learnt all about
the grand, infinite universe
but her saturday night silence
still felt like the most empty
and hopeless space
that she has ever known

 

echo chamber: earth-sized & shell-shaped

Screen Shot 2016-12-03 at 9.20.38 am.png
Image courtesy of: transmissiondream

do you remember
when we were younger
and they told us
we could hear the ocean
if we held a sea shell to our ears
as if those lifeless husks
contained some echo of home?

as a naive & introverted child,
my brown spotted conch shell
became one of my most prized possessions
and I spent hours upon hours
at my auditory beach
close my eyes
so the waves
could drown out reality.

well it turns out
they lied to us
like they did about everything else
(faeries, santa, growing up)
and the sea-like sounds we heard
was just our surrounding environment
resonating within the cavity of the shell
I guess you cannot escape reality
only distort it temporarily
google tells me
it’s a cheap trick
replicable with an empty plastic cup
(by holding it up to your ear
or finishing the liquor inside)

Continue reading “echo chamber: earth-sized & shell-shaped”